Hurting Inside
by Mhm its me
Summary: It takes place after destiny.Alex dies early and Liz is still gone for teh summer. Maria is hurting and Michael tries to help her but how canhe when she pushes him away. She pushes them all away. MxM This is a Michael Maria fanfic.
1. Your Gone

"Maria."

Maria glanced up to see Alex staring at her with such pain in his eyes. He missed Isabele.It was utterly obvious he was hurting just as much as she was. Maria wrapped her arms around her hurting friend and rocked him back and forth.

"It'll get better. Trust me it will."Maria soothed.

"What if it doesn't?"he asked.

"Well, I'm always here to try and make it better." she smiled.

She couldn't help but feel bad for Alex she hated seeing him like this.He cared so much about Isabele and he finally thought he had a chance and she goes and tosses him away. She wanted to cry so desperately, let her tears fall and get over the fact that Michael didn't love her, but for some reason she couldn't. She didn't want to lose everything she once felt.She knew she had to forget him sooner or later. She just wanted later to come as late as it could.

"Liz call you?"Alex asked sadly.

"No haven't heard from her since she left."Maria stated.

Alex sighed and tried to smile, but he was just too hurt.

"She'll be home soon Alex. Then we can all be sad together."Maria chuckled.

"Oh how we'll eat Bon Bon's and dance to Cher and The Hanson Brothers and wollow in our misery." Alex joked.

"Maria, how are you holding up?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know you were close to Michael, and it must hurt right?"

"Maybe. I try not to think about it. As long as you never leave me, I think I'll be fine."

"I could never leave you Ria, you're my best friend, if it weren't for you I don't know where'd I'd be."

Maria smiled at that.It actually made her feel useful for once.Lately she's felt so alone,so unwanted, and ignoring all her emotions just wasn't helping any.

She and Alex decided to walk into the front of The Crashdown.Maria's shift was starting and he wanted to keep her company.They spotted The Royal Four in there usual booth. They could feel the akwardness so alive.Maria walked over to them to take their order.

"What can I get you?" she asked concentrating on her pen in pad in her hand.

"I'll have a small order of Saturn Rings, and a large Alien Vanilla smoothie." Tess said with a grin on her face.

"Hey Maria." Max said in a low tone.

She didn't dare raise her head,she wasn't ready to talk to any of them yet, not like it was all okay.

"Just please order."Maria said lightly with a hint of sadness.

Michael just stared at her when he heard her say it. He could tell she was still hurting and she had every right too. He hated him self for what he did. But he knew she wasn't his destiny but then why couldn't he stop thinking about her, why couldn't he get her out of his mind?

"I'll have the same as Tess."Max replied sadly.

"Same."Michael chimed in.

"I'll just have The Galaxy Burger."Isabele stated.

Maria jotted it down and quickly walked away.

"Hey Ria, I'll be right back alright. I gotta go grab something."Alex said to her.

She turned and said,"Alright."

Minutes past fast as the Royal Four's order gets done.She walks up to the counter and grabs their food and walks up to their table.

She quickly passes it out and walks away.

She couldn't help but notice Alex still wasn't back. She whipped out her cell phone and called his, but it went straight to voice mail.

"That loser."she muttered to herself.

The Crashdown was pretty empty, due to the fact it was an hour till closing time.Maria sat at the counter spinning in her seat waiting.Every so often Maria would call him again but still nothing.An hour and still nothing, this was unusual for Alex.

The door to The Crashdown opens.Maria pops her head up hoping to see Alex but only sees Kyle and Jim.

Kyle walked up to her soft and slow, something was wrong she could feel it.

"Have you heard from Alex he said he'd be right back but its been over an hour or two."She said when Kyle reached the counter.

Kyle's eyes strayed from her face to the floor.

"Maria, on our way here we passed an accident and.."

"And what?"

"Maria it was Alex's car.. it was wrapped around a telephone pole."he stammered fighting back tears.

Maria's face lost all color it once had. It couldn't be true. Her best friend couldn't be gone.

"I don't believe you." she said angrily.

She walked out from behind teh counter and over to Jim.

"Is this some kind of joke?"Maria asked with tears sliding down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry Maria, he's gone." Jim replied staring at the floor.

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"What do you think's going on over there?"Tess asked as they allw atched Maria walk from Kyle to the sheriff.

"Beats me, but it doesn't look good."Max stated.

The Royal Four watched as tears slid from Maria's face.

Michael turned from the sight.He couldn't stand to see her cry it always felt like being stabbbed in the chest by a thousand knives.

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Maria's anger exploded.

The cellphone that once was in her hand was now heading for the wall.She threw it outta anger out of angst.

"NO!!!"she screamed while crying desperately.

Kyle wrapped his arms around Maria. Her body started collapsing and Kyle's moved with hers.She sobbed violently against his chest.

The Royal Four jumped up out of the booth and stood and watched.

"What happened ?"Max asked Jim.

"Alex Whitman is dead." He stated sadly.

The Roayl Four just stood there in shock. Isabele could feel a horrible pain in her stomache.

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Thank you for taking the time to read.


	2. How am I supposed to live iwthout you?

_I always needed time on my own._

_I never thought I'd need you then when I cried._

_And the days feel like years when I'm alone,_

_and the bed where you lie is made up on your side. _

Maria laid back on her bed and let the tears fall from her eyes. What was she to do her best friend is dead.

**Tap Tap Tape**

**  
**

The tapping at the window made her squeeze her eyes shut. She new who it was and she also knew she didn't want to see him right now. She turned her body to the side to ignore it.But she knew he'd come in eventually.

"Are you okay?"he whispered it softly in her ear as he leaned in to lay beside her.

He laid behind her and slowly started to wrap his arms around her to but she quickly elbowed him away.

"Don't touch me."she whispered in a broken sorrowful voice.

"Maria.."

"Micheal,I don't need this right now".

"You were there for me when the whole Hank thing happened now its my turn to be here for you."

Maria turned to face him,she laid chest to chest against him. He stared deeply into hers and started to choke oh his own breath.She looked so empty,so cold,almost dead.He brushed away the single strands of hair that managed to stray over her beautiful angelic face. She buried her face into his chest and started to sub uncontrollably.

"Shh, its ok.It'll all be okay."he soothed.

"No,no it won't."she sobbed.

She moved away from him and scooted as close to the edge of the bed as she could and stood up.

"He's gone,and I will never be able to tell him how much I love him."

"Maria,he knew trust me.He loved you to.You were best friends."

"You don't get it and you couldn't possibly understand."

"Maria, I don't understand,Maria,I lost my parents,my family,my planet,I'm alone."

"You can't lose people you never had."

"And hear I thought I was the cold hearted one."

"I'm sorry Michael but first you you then Liz,now Alex..I can't keep doing this.I'm alone.And I don't want to deal with this anymore.I want to wake up right now and this all have been some horrible dream that we'd all laugh about.But that will never happen.Because you have your damn destiny to fulfill remember."

"What can I do to make you fell better?"

"Thats just it Michael,you can't do anything.There is no powers that can take this feeling of pain and emptiness away.You have to go because I can't take you leaving me again.Not when I feel like this."

"I don't want to go I want to be here with you."

"Just go!"she yelled with tears streaming down her face.

Michael got up and walked towards the window.

"I'm sorry I just keep hurting you.. thats what i wanted to prevent from happening."and with that he crawled out of her window and escaped into the night.

Maria started to cry harder and scream louder. She sat in th corner and rocked her self back and forth.

**Author's note: **Think I should continue it?


	3. i miss you

"What can I get for you today?" Maria asked a couple at the booth she was standing in front of. 

She wasn't smiling and she definately didn't want to be there.Work really wasn't a major factor in her life right now. With Alex gone, who was left? Liz? No she abandoned them when things got rough. When she found out about the whole destiny thing she left. In a way she couldn't forgive Liz for that. She bailed when they needed her most.

"Miss?"

Maria snapped out of her thoughts to see the couple staring at her.

"We're ready to order." The woman replied.

* * *

"Look at her, she's so out of it." Tess said to the group as she stared at Maria.

"Can you blame her." Max chimed in.

The group fell silent as Maria walked up to their table. "What can I get you?"she said routinely.

She couldn't even stand to look at them in the face.

"Maria..I'm so sorry..about what happened.."Max's voice trailed off from the words he was speaking.

Maria glanced at her wrist watch, and replied "Look at the time, I'm getting off shift,I'm sure Courtney would love to finish your order for me."

Maria walked away from them as if they had the plague.

She passed Courtney who just walked on to the floor her ticket book and pointed to them.

"I guess she doesn't want to deal with it." Tess said rudely.

Isabel got up from the table and walked out.

"She's not the only one.." Max said sadly.

* * *

"Come on Maria she'll be home today!" Kyle practically yelled after Maria.

Maria walked away avoiding everything he said.So what Liz was coming home?  
Was she suppose to care? No.

Kyle followed after her as she headed for the double doors.  
"Maria!"He yelled.

Maria whipped around to face this idiot who didn't know when to back off.

"What, what the hell do you want from me? Do you want me to be excited? Do you want me to cry and say how much I've missed her?"What?" She yelled.

"She can help you through this." He said trying to make her listen. "She's your best friend for crying out loud."

"Wrong. I lost my best friend. He's fucking gone.. and everything that ever made sense means nothing now." she said as she opened the double doors.

"And you think running away from all this is going to help?"he screamed back.

"I don't know, ask Liz, she's the one that ran away."

"What do you think your doing huh?Your a hypocrite." he said angrily.

And with that Maria let out a soft sigh and walked out of the restraunt.

"Give her time she's in pain. We all are." Tess said from the table.

Kyle glanced over at her and said,"What would you know about pain."

* * *


	4. lifes a joke

"I heard Kyle say she'd be here this morning." Max told Micheal as he stared around for her.

"And what makes you think she'll talk to you,she left to get away from you remember?"

Max's face went a little pale and he sighed,realising just how much his friend was right.

"Hey Max!" Tess yelled ecitedly as she approached the two.

"Oh,morning Tess."He muttered back.

Tess glanced in the direction Max was staring at, and said,"Kyle said she got back last night."

Noticing she caught on to him staring at Liz'z locker,he quickly glanced away.

**********************************************************************************************

"So where's Maria?" Liz asked Kyle.

"Oh,um she's here somewhere." He replied softly.

"Oh no."Liz whispered,as she noticed the Royal Four a few feet away from her locker.

"Yeah,they just don't know when to give up."Kyle scoffed.

"Has Max asked about me?"

"Yeah,alot actually."

"How's the Whitman's holding up?"

"Maria said they were doing better than she expected,and she'd know better than anyone,she goes over there everyday almost."

Liz felt her eyes start to water as she remembered the way they all used to laugh together.  
She realised that the three musketeers are now the two musketeers.

"How are you?"

Liz turned around to face the voice who asked the question.  
She was face to face with Max.

She felt her heart sink into her chest,she wasn't ready for this early.

"Oh hey Max,um."she said before the tears started to pour.

Max embraced the young brunette and tried to soothe.

"I'm so sorry..He didn't deserve this..neither did you."He cooed.

"Maria?" Kyle asked as he saw her walk right past them.

She didn't flinch,she didn't even act like she heard him. She just kept walking.

Micheal stared after the beautiful blonde,and wondered why she wasn't acknowledging her best friends return.

*  
First Period :Computers

Maria sat there dumbfounded,she had to write a piece for the front page on Alex ,a memorial page,it had to be perfect,a copy was gonna be in the yearbook.  
But in her heart she knew nothing would be good enough.

As she started writing a rough draft an IM window popped up from her messenger.

Lizzy Pizzy: I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!Are you ok?I'm not..and I don't think I will ever be again...how could this have happened..

Rie Rie: This user has currently set his/her user settings to away.

Lizzy Pizzy: Ria,I need you...

Rie Rie has logged off.

Liz couldn't understand why her best friend was shutting her out,they needed eachother now more than ever.  
Her eyes started to swell with the tears..she lost Alex and now,now she's losing Maria.

Maria stared blankly at the messenger now on Invisible,hoping this would finally let her get some work done.  
She started to go through her messenger archives to find conversations between her and Alex,hoing to find some funny ones..to help people see who he was.

Mikey G:Why not just logout,why go invisible,if you really didn't wanna talk to someone right?

Rie Rie:I need to go through my archive,not like it's your buisness.

Mikey G: So,you and Parker having a fight or something?

Rie Rie: A much as I 'd love to be apart of your interrogation,I'm gonna have to pass.

Mikey G: Maria.. are you okay?

Rie Rie: We are praying now for the repose of his soul. Hoping you're well and not in hell. Nice change of air. Out of the frying pan of life into the fire of purgatory.

Mikey G: When did you read Ulysses...

Rie Rie: You don't know me as good as you think you do..

Mikey G: It will get easier..I know it doesn't seem like it now...but it will. trust me as long as I've been on this planet,I've lost more than most.

Rie Rie: Maybe.

Maria exited the IM box,and started saving her paper before the bell could ring.

She dreaded next period,everyone she was trying to avoid,was gonna be in that class.

A she walked into Mr. Adams class she felt all eyes on her.

It was like she was somer dispaly at the museum,and everyone was interested.

She took a seat in the back,and sat back with ease,if anything else,she could sleep this hour.

RINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGG

Why did that bell have to be so damn loud,she wondered.

"Well I'm saddened to start off a new school year,with a passing of one of our students,please sit for a moment of silence." Mr. Adams said.

Maria looked around the room,and saw everyone close their eyes and hang their heads.

Maria felt a bit of anger rise inside of her,these people who never even gave him a second look are now crying..they didn't even know exsisted but they miss him?Is that possible?

Maria stood up and walked towards the door.

"Miss Deluca,where do you think your going?"Mr. Adams asked questioningly.

"i refuse to be apart of this."

"Apart of what?"

"THIS,this is a joke."

"Mourning a class mate is a joke to you?"

"No but your making it in to one. He was just another person in the hall to you people,and now yourcrying overs omeone you didn't even know?"

"Miss Deluca-"

"No I refuse to sit here and watch people cry over my best friend when they could never even undertsand the importance his life actually made in this world.  
He's just another sad story to these people."

And with that she walked out. 


End file.
